Living Off Rats
by YukiHasAMercedes
Summary: Set during Goblet of Fire. Sirius, hiding out in Hogsmeade, is forced to eat rats to survive. A short, slightly dark piece about the twisted irony of life.


Disclaimer: I cannot write nearly was well as J. K. Rowling, ergo, I obviously do not own Harry Potter. Simple. (Although I wish I owned Remus Lupin! glomps Lupin) Sirius was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. It wasn't the chill of the November air that was making him feel uncomfortable- Padfoot's thick black fur took care of that. It wasn't the sneaking around Hogsmeade in the dead of night, either- he had been sneaking around numerous villages in the dead of night, as a dog, ever since he had escaped from Azkaban over a year ago. That new addition to his life had become second nature now. It wasn't even his worry over Harry that caused his uneasiness- at least, not at the moment. Sirius had been worrying about his godson ever since Harry had written to him over the summer to tell him about his scar hurting. Sirius had known then - or suspected, at any rate- that Harry's scar was something of a warning signal for Voldemort, and when he had received this news from Harry, he had set off for Hogsmeade as quickly as possible. Learning that Harry was going to compete in the Triwizard Tournament at Hogwarts had nearly tripled his concern. The one thing that calmed him down was that he would be talking to Harry face to face in less than two weeks. There was no way he'd be able to communicate everything on his mind through a letter. But no, even the mounting tension over the issue of his godson's safety wasn't troubling Sirius now. The cause of his discomfort was trapped beneath his paw, writhing and squealing. It was a rat. Sirius had been lurking round the back of the Hog's Head for a while now, waiting for a rat to turn up. Oh, they were there, he could smell them easily enough, but they were keeping out of sight. He had managed to jump this one, though, and pin its tail and hindquarters to the ground. Now he was gazing down at it, the corners of his mouth pulled back in a canine grimace. The rat looked absolutely foul, though Sirius supposed he could look little better after living in a cave for a week and a half. Its dingy gray fur was streaked with dirt, and its dark, beady eyes were rolling madly in their sockets as it fought to escape. Its claws scrabbled desperately at the ground, and its squeals were growing shriller by the second. Sirius felt the urge to put the creature out of its misery, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't just let it go after he had wasted nearly half an hour waiting to trap the horrid thing, but killing it now would mean that he definitely had to eat it. He whined a little. _This is bloody revolting_, he thought bitterly, though he couldn't voice his thoughts. But he couldn't deny it- he was starving. Stealing too much food from the shops and houses would attract attention to the large black dog that had turned up out of the blue one day and had been spotted around the outskirts of the village several times since. Attention was the last thing Sirius needed right now. Unable to live solely off of stolen food, he had finally admitted to himself that there was nothing for it- eating rats was his only other option. The captured rodent would not stop squealing. The sound was drilling through Sirius' ear canals and into the center of his brain. He bared his teeth at the rat and growled menacingly, hoping it would shut up. The annoying din it was making only kept reminding Sirius that it was very much alive, and that it was expecting him to eat it. Which he was. He just hadn't gotten around to it yet. _Well, it's this or starve to death_, thought Sirius without much enthusiasm. With a shudder, he lowered his head and opened his jaws. The rat gave an earsplitting shriek and curled into a fetal ball, cowering away from Sirius' teeth. Sirius jerked back, startled. He didn't know why, but for a split second, he had just been reminded forcibly of somebody he wished he had never met, and a night that he wished he had never been a part of. Cowering… Cowering from Sirius… A squirming rat, struggling to escape… Sirius gazed down at his captive, breathing heavily. This rat didn't look much like Peter's Animagus form- it was more bloated, for one thing, as the Hog's Head had a plentiful supply of garbage to feed on. It had darker fur, and it wasn't missing any toes… but still, a rat was a rat, right? _And Wormtail is definitely a rat._ Sirius snarled darkly at the thought of his old friend. The rat beneath his paw persisted in its squeaking, but Sirius, lost in the past, found that the noise wasn't as irritating. Memories were flashing past Sirius' eyes, memories of that night, memories of Wormtail… Wormtail groveling, Wormtail pleading, Wormtail denying that he had betrayed James and Lily, denying that he had been responsible for the deaths of his once-friends, the deaths of two of the greatest and bravest people Sirius had ever known- Anger flooded Sirius' stomach and rose in his throat like bile. He uttered a fierce, furious snarl and tightened his claws, feeling every muscle in his body tense in rage. The rat let out a sharp scream of pain as Sirius' claws dug into its flesh. Sirius started and looked down at the rodent, having almost forgotten it was there. A thought occurred to him, and he would have given a hollow laugh if he had been human. As a dog, he settled for a dry snort. _It's Wormtail_, he thought. _You've tracked him down. You've cornered him. He's screaming, begging for mercy, pleading for his life, crying for you to spare him._ _Only this time, Harry isn't here to stop you._ _So what are you waiting for?_ _Kill him._ With a feeling of grim satisfaction, Sirius lowered his head and sank his teeth into the rat. It gave one last dying shriek and then fell silent, as Sirius tore it to pieces and swallowed them one by one. He still felt the repulsion of what he was doing, but he didn't let it affect him. He gulped down the last bit and licked blood from his muzzle. It tasted strong and bitter on his sensitive tongue. He whined softly and tilted his head back to gaze upwards. The black canopy of the sky was dotted with stars. Sirius squinted, trying to see better, as everything was fuzzy through his dim canine eyes. He strained to see the constellations clearly, perhaps pick out the Dog Star for which he was named- it was something of a ritual for him to seek out that one pinpoint of light in the vast night sky. He couldn't see anything. He sighed, though it came out as more of a 'whuff' and shook his head a little. He turned and walked away from the bar, trotted down the street, jumped the stile at the end of the lane, and headed up the mountain path. His hunger hadn't been satiated- not nearly- but Buckbeak got restless if he woke up and Sirius wasn't there, and there was always early tomorrow morning to go scrounging for food. Food. Prey. Hunting. Killing. Rat. Wormtail. What was the difference, really? Yes, it was short, but I hope it wasn't too short. Well, please review! It would mean a lot to me, and I'd like to know whether I did J. K. and Sirius justice. 


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